- my 9 year old sister: I'm gonna marry a doctor.
- me: Why?
- my 9 year old sister: So I can watch netflix all day while he pays for it.
"Your mom is gaaay!"
Some kids are arguing on my street, one has lesbian moms. I fucking can’t breathe.
Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have time to sleep
GOD BLESS THIS PERSON’S SOUL. IT’S TRANSPARENT.
IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S CLIMBING DOWN MY BLOG. CRYCRYCRY.
i may be ugly but at least
nevermind my personality sucks too
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other